I love this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson: "What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you."
This quote means so much to me because it reminds me of the values I learned after truly discovering myself (and my life again) at Karis Community. Before I came to Karis in the fall of 2018, my life was chaotic, traumatic, and desolate. I had a severe alcohol addiction that had been getting increasingly worse for years. I had great difficulty finding and keeping a job. I often lived in isolation, apart from spending time with my loving family, who supported and loved me despite my terrible alcohol addiction and bad choices. I was suicidal and in treatment centers off and on. After finally making a commitment to go to a 30-day inpatient rehab facility (for my alcohol addiction), we discovered that I also had a severe mental illness. Just simply being sober from alcohol did not “fix” my mental health problems.
After rehab, I spent time in and out of psychiatric hospitals. I tried many different medications, none of which helped. I was eventually diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depressive Disorder (“with psychotic features”). Finally, during the longest psychiatric hospital stay I had; the psychiatrist recommended that I receive ECT (Electro Convulsive Therapy) to see if it would possibly help (when none of the medications did.) I agreed to try it (with the encouragement of my loving family.) I was scared, but we were so desperate to try anything that could help me. And as scary as it was, ECT helped me tremendously! I was finally able to return to my parents’ home (where I had been staying on and off after having to surrender my apartment.) My change in mental status was incredibly encouraging—but we knew I wasn’t “out of the woods yet.”
My parents felt I needed to be in a healing and sober environment with other people (not just continually isolated in their home, with no direct path or plan forward to a more stable life.) They found out about Karis and helped me apply. At first, I was scared about what it would be like living with a bunch of other people. I was afraid I wouldn’t fit in and that I would be uncomfortable. I couldn’t have been more wrong! When I first went to Karis for my “applicant dinner,” I was welcomed with open arms and unconditional love. I felt so supported and encouraged by people I had literally just met! It truly warmed my heart. I was quickly accepted into the community and moved in.
I felt so supported and encouraged by people I had literally just met! It truly warmed my heart. I was quickly accepted into the community and moved in.
While at Karis, I made some lifelong friends. I attended helpful support groups, and I was able to get assistance from the staff to set realistic life goals for myself—surrounding employment, relationships, and sobriety. I also was able to consistently see my psychiatrist and receive outpatient “maintenance” ECT treatments at the hospital while I was at Karis (to make sure that my Major Depressive Disorder would not rear its ugly head again.) In addition, I had one-on-one therapy sessions at Karis, too. In addition to the clinical therapeutic aspect at Karis, I also had a lot of fun! We had community dinners together, we had outings to get ice cream at a local ice cream shop, and we would frequently enjoy a meaningful TV show or movie together. We even had a specifically designated “fun night,” where we would gather as a community and do something that brought us joy (like playing games and gathering around a fire pit in the backyard, where we would share stories and roast s’mores!)
During my time at Karis, I also worked as a volunteer. Then, I attended CrossPurpose, which is a very special career development program in Denver. I was able to graduate from the CrossPurpose program with a Certificate as a Medical Administrative Assistant. This certificate would later enable me to get a full-time, meaningful job! To put the “icing on the cake,” I ended up falling in love with one of my fellow Karis members, Brad—who I ended up marrying shortly after I graduated/moved out of Karis! He is the true love of my life. We had a very special wedding at my local church, and all of our Karis members and staff were invited! Our pastor spoke at our wedding about how Brad and I had met and become a couple at Karis, and he also shared some of our special memories together at Karis–before he officially married us during our ceremony.
It was so special to have all of our Community Members and staff at our wedding—along with our loving and supportive family members. Brad and I moved into an apartment together, and I started working full-time. It was such a blessing to finally have a meaningful and full-time job! After two years, I was offered a different position at a local non-profit agency here in Denver as a “Peer Specialist”/Case Manager. I completed a lot of training to do this and got my official certification as a “Peer and Family Support Specialist.”
...it is so incredible to be able to help others who are struggling, just as I did! With my lived experience, I can offer my participants hope and healing-- similar to how Karis offered it to me!
I currently have about 20 women on my caseload at my job—and I enjoy helping them through their challenges with substance abuse and mental health struggles every day. It is hard work, but it is so incredible to be able to help others who are struggling, just as I did! With my lived experience, I can offer my participants hope and healing– similar to how Karis offered it to me! And as an alum, I am still very much involved with activities at Karis— such as attending the annual summer barbeque, speaking at fundraisers, and attending Karis Alumni Group intermittently.
Recently, I was very involved in caring for my mom– who unfortunately had a debilitating brain disease. I received so much love and support from my fellow Karis alums/friends during this time, as well as from Sarah (the Karis Alumni Coordinator). It is so special and amazing to have this continued support from Karis! My mom actually passed away peacefully just yesterday– and I immediately received a comforting text message from Sarah today offering me kind words, help, and support.
Thank you to all at Karis Community not only for enriching my life but for giving me continued hope, healing, and endless support!
Written by Jennifer, a 2019 Karis alum