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We Never Really Fail, We Get Stronger

    It was “LIFE CHANGING,” it was family!!!! This was not a halfway house; it was a “FULL-HOUSE,” so much more than I thought it would be.

    I was asked to talk about what Karis means to me. I think back to 1994 and how I had recently and finally decided to make it known to the world of my secret fight with depression. After breaking down in the most embarrassing way in college, I had to face my father and express to him and the rest of the world that I had been hiding my depression so well that it was all I knew. I could not hide anymore behind a decade’s worth of SI and self-loathing as I was about to graduate college. I had to move on and live like everyone else. After losing all my friendships in college due to coming out of this depression masquerade, I moved back to Colorado. In three years, I had five more hospitalizations, including ECT and countless other failures in treatment. My family had split up and went their own ways, and I was alone and a burden to the people I loved. I was a FAILURE!!! It was my ending. My father was getting re-married and could no longer watch over or supervise me from one hospital stay to another.

    My father, out of nowhere, found Karis!!!  I later found out that the director of this “halfway house” was an acquaintance of his through Seminary. Reluctantly, I decided to “give it a try;” what else could go wrong? It was at this point that I made the “LIFE SAVING” decision to follow through. I was nervous about joining this “halfway house” community.

    It was “LIFE CHANGING,” it was family!!!! This was not a halfway house; it was a “FULL-HOUSE,” so much more than I thought it would be. So much more!!!! It was full of love and full of structure and a place that gave grace. I was a deer in headlights for the first couple weeks, but for the first time in my life, people understood me, and it was not just a nurse intern at a hospital stay for a month or a psychologist that my COBRA insurance would fund. This “program,” which I had no idea had a structure or name, taught love, grace, responsibility, and so much more. I went through the “rock passing” ceremony three days before 9/11 and eventually moved out and into the world with more confidence than I could have imagined. I got married, actually bought a house, and have had the same job for 24 years. My father passed away a few years later. I often stop and thank God he knew of EJ and this place, Karis.

    I had a chance many times for a couple of years to catch up with the residents, as it was an honor to sit on the Board of Directors and attend monthly resident dinners. That love, that kinsman-ship, and that drive to understand that mental illness is not a stigma or a failure but just a hiccup in life. Karis is a sacred place, not a place for failures but a place to get stronger. A failure is only a true failure when you do not get back up and quit. If you do choose to get back up, you have learned more. Karis helps you “Get Back up.” YOU THEN ARE ALWAYS STRONGER!!!! Thank you, Karis.

    Kevin Simpson, Alumni, Former Board Member

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