God, grant me the Serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the Courage to change the one I can,
and the Wisdom to know that one is me. ~ ACA Serenity Prayer
My life before Karis:
I’m in the process of rewriting my story, but I can share a bit about my past. I grew up in a big family in a nice town, got a good education, tried a variety of jobs, established a good career in teaching, married, and had a beautiful son. But I struggled. I had been raised by emotionally unavailable parents and developed low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. I had a marriage counselor who was duped by my narcissistic husband. I suffered abuse from a medical practitioner who overmedicated me so I could “tolerate my husband’s behavior.” I was derailed by chronic Lyme disease (I’m from the east coast) while going through a bitter divorce from an emotionally abusive man with whom I had spent a quarter of a century. I lost touch with myself and my ability to love..
What led me to Karis:
My sister found out about Karis through a newspaper article at just the right time. I had been living with a different sister after a breakdown over a lost relationship and suicide attempt, but old family dynamics were hindering my recovery. We were just amazed that a place like Karis even existed!
My Karis experience:
Karis was instrumental in my recovery. I learned so much at Karis. Through the compassionate care provided by staff and interns, I was able to see myself as a valued individual and a valued Community Member. I learned to trust again in myself and others. I found friends who were going through similar experiences and understood where I was coming from. I learned to be a more responsible human being. I learned the value of volunteer work and spent time helping at the Denver Botanic Gardens, Earthlinks, and the Colorado Talking Book Library. Sometimes the work at Karis was challenging, but it was definitely worth it.
My life now:
My mental health hasn’t been this good in decades. I’m taking time to make my soul happy. Every day I do a little yoga (I love Yoga with Adriene on Youtube) and take a long walk. I go to Qigong classes with one of my sisters weekly. I also help this sister with Fairtrade sales and sandwich-making for the homeless. I’ve recently decorated my apartment, and I’ve also started to listen to music that brings me joy (I’m old, so I listen to CDs). I recently bought a used bike and hope to start riding after it gets a tune-up. I’m taking ballroom dance lessons and will soon be starting online courses for Reiki and Yoga Teacher Training. I continue with my therapy at Wellpower and am lucky to have found a therapist who is trained in EMDR and Tapping. I have The Tapping Solutions App and do tapping on my own. I get continued support through the Karis Alumni Group and enjoy the meetings and outings offered free of charge. I am a member of the Twelve Step Program, Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA). It has been so important to my recovery, and I am so grateful that it has led me to the discovery of a loving Higher Power and connected me to some awesome people. I feel that I have found my tribe, and I can’t tell you how comforting that is. The ACA literature is profoundly wise and relatable. I’ve also read and watched videos about a lot of topics related to mental health. I’ve learned so much about generational trauma and family dysfunction, childhood complex PTSD, childhood emotional neglect, narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, autism, ADHD, various personality disorders, the highly sensitive person, and the causes and treatments for anxiety and depression. I am so lucky to have relatives and friends who love and support me. Even though I’m doing great now, things weren’t very good when I left the Karis Cottage. I was very depressed, and even though I won a lottery to get into a low-income tax credit housing unit, I stayed in bed twenty-two hours a day for two years and didn’t appreciate my good fortune. However, after tapering off medications that were causing more harm than good and going through terrible protracted withdrawal symptoms, I was able to overcome my dysregulated state by building on small daily habits that nourished my well-being. Slowly, I became hopeful again. I learned to have some self-compassion, and I stopped being so self-critical. I have a long way to go, and I know that I will be on this healing journey for the rest of my life.
Connie G.
Former Community Member