I first grew to know Karis Community 15 years ago when I did an internship there during my graduate program. I was supposed to be learning how to become a therapist, but ultimately, I learned to be a better person and to develop stronger relationships. EJ Barklage set that tone as the Executive Director with his graciousness, empathy, and dedication to maintaining hope and creating an atmosphere that inspired healing.
As I write this blog as a current Board Member at Karis, we have been dealing with the impacts of a global pandemic for over a year. 2020 was a challenging year for everyone, and it is incredibly easy to focus on those challenges. Instead, I think it is a useful time to channel what I learned at Karis and focus on the gifts this year has given and how we can create hope even in challenging times. One thing this year did allow us to do was to focus on our relationships. We could only physically spend time with those closest to us, and it became more challenging to stay in touch with our larger social circles. This past year gave us plenty of time to reflect on our relationships.
“In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends” – John Churton Collins
One of the reasons the relationships that form at Karis are so strong is that they develop during adversity. When people come to Karis, they are hurting, and residents work really hard to fight the battles they are faced with. They do this together, and the created bonds are powerful and set the stage for healing. That is true friendship.
“Loneliness isn’t the physical absence of other people–it’s the sense that you’re not sharing anything that matters with anyone else” – Johann Hari
Many times, at Karis, the residents find a home where, for the first time, they are truly able to share some parts of themselves that they had previously kept hidden. By opening up, being vulnerable, and finding the bravery to share their stories honestly, the residents build relationships with people that help them along their journey. This is true community.
“Happiness is really feeling like you’ve impacted another human positively” – Johann Hari
Part of Karis’s healing nature is that residents can have a positive impact on the peers they live with. Having a positive impact on someone else, helping them find their happiness, can’t help but make someone smile. That is true happiness.
Being at Karis taught me so much about relationships. Still to this day, I will often think about a situation in which a resident conquered a fear or achieved something they did not know was possible, and I smile. And other times, I remember something hilarious from Karis that made us all laugh. I learned so much from everyone I met there.
This past year of living in a pandemic has also taught me so much about relationships. May we all strive to be the friend that is there in times of adversity, to truly share of ourselves with those close to us, and always to try to pay it forward and have a positive impact on others. Together we can all get through this.
Kirsten A, Board Member