“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must. But always try to take the next step.” – unknown
A couple of weeks ago, my colleagues and I met for our bi-weekly DEI training led by our former Board Chair, Allison Brown. These meetings are both thought-provoking and eye-opening. One of our topics was the feeling that one person can do so little, and sometimes it’s easy to feel defeated and want to give up. Our conversation led me to think about my first-ever New Year’s resolution that actually worked. At this time in my life, I was not what you might call an “avid reader.” Even if I only got through one small book, that would qualify as a success. So, I decided I would “read more.” This idea was so simple that I could not fail. I removed the pressure of conquering something that felt insurmountable. I now focus on resolutions that are as manageable as possible.
Some people are great at checking off their lofty goals list: learning a foreign language, free climbing El Capitan, becoming a Tik Tok influencer, and building a house using only tape and glue. But most of us need to be more realistic. In years past, I might have told myself, “this year, I will read for 30 minutes each night.”, The leap from never reading to reading 30 minutes per night is too much for me. I could possibly succeed for one or two weeks, but I would ultimately stop and then feel like I’ve failed. In 2023, I have decided to hop on Duolingo for 5 minutes each week to learn French. 5 minutes!?! That seems doable, right?
Life can feel overwhelming. We have work, social lives, families, pets, fitness, hobbies, and so much more to achieve each day. Managing mental illness, surviving trauma, and overcoming substance misuse, can be so challenging and overwhelming that it’s often easier to say, “I can’t do this!” Instead, I try to focus on what I’ve completed rather than what I have ahead of myself. If I checked off 10% of my personal to-do list today, I could celebrate that.
one step at a time
It’s important to remember that just because you simplify does not mean it will be easy. When I first began my journey with sobriety, every day felt like a struggle. Learning how to navigate life without the “crutch”, I had relied on for so many years was difficult. It was crucial to think in terms of “one day at a time.” If I focused too much on “forever: I felt overwhelmed and tempted to give up. Sometimes on my darkest days, especially early on, I found that I had to focus on one minute at a time. I carefully put one foot in front of the other and tried to stay in the moment rather than concentrating too much on what was ahead of me.
This brings me back to feeling too small to make a positive change in the world. While this may feel true, the reality is that we are all capable of so much more than we think. Karis’ success is mostly due to its Community and peer support. In fact, our approach came from Great Britain, where WWII veterans experiencing Post-traumatic Stress Disorder could find significant recovery in communal environments. Our mission is to provide a community where people heal together. We offer a safe space, free of shame and stigma, where adults can learn to manage their illnesses and live positive, meaningful lives. Maybe one person can do only a little, but together, we can do so much, one small step at a time.
“Mental health…is not a destination, but a process. It’s about how you drive, not where you’re going.” – Noam Spencer, PhD
Lisa Andersson,
Director of Development and Communications
What is your New Year’s Resolution? Please add to our comments section below.